What’s up you nerdy pervs? I’m here to deliver this weekly update because Nine is so fuckin’ big on “transparency” or some shit. Nobody reads these things every week, that’d be insane, right? I bet if I look at the pageviews on the dashboard, I…

… shit, you people do ready these? God damn.

Anyway, Nine has me doing the update this week because that’s that’s apparently a thing we’re doing, now. Plus she knew she’d be too tired to do it today. They went to a Ninja Sex Party show last night, and believe me that’s not what it sounds like. Unfortunately. But they’re in recovery mode today, because they’re old, and they were like “B! Do the Friday Update this week! I know I’m going to be really tired so I won’t be able to post it as early as I normally do. Make sure it goes up early!” 

Then today they were all like “so did you post it?” and I was like “no, not yet! How early is ‘early’?” and they were like “before fucking 7 PM at least.” So judgmental. 

What was I talking about? Oh, right, the update.

Nine seems pretty confident that the final beta is going to the testers next week! They had to do some final coding, and the “Investigation Mode” they mentioned in the changelog turned out to be a little more work than they thought — they had to come up with 15 different clues and then find the right spots within the dialogue to hide them. 

I asked why they were bothering to do this, and the answer was kinda neat. They know that not everyone is gonna delve hard into the mystery, enjoying some other aspects of the game, but there’s a good number of people who dissect everything and want to learn everything possible. I guess these hidden clues are there to reward the hardcore types out there who really wanna pick apart the story. But that’s just a theory… a game theory.

Also completed now is the coding for all four achievements, plus some hidden, secret scene that’s kind of a big Easter Egg that took… a disproportionate amount of collaboration with some other devs? I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about that. Moving on…

The biggest hold up right now? Real life. There was the concert last night, then they’re working on their cosplay today to go to some convention tomorrow, and then going to hang out with their family on Sunday for their parents’ anniversary and stepfather’s birthday (plus they didn’t get together for either Nine’s birthday or their mother’s, so they have ungiven gifts). It’s kinda amazing they got as much coding done as they did.

Sure, they coulda asked me to help, but apparently I’m ficitonal.

Hey, since they’re not here to check this, wanna hear something cool? You get to learn my real full name this update! I hope you didn’t think it was actually just “B” this whole time. 

So what’s left on the checklist? Putting the new music in the right place, finishing up a tiny bit of sex scene writing, and… wait, seriously, that’s it? Holy shit. This is close. 

That’s it for this update! Until next week, um… what was Nine’s catchphrase at the ends of these things, again?

Oh, yeah!

Your mom.

– B